Medusa's Loss
by Master.of.the.Fan.Fiction
Summary: Medusa has just lost for the first time in eight years. To a boy she thought she liked, in front of the whole world. Will she ever really be able to forgive Tom for what he did to her?
1. Chapter 1

_This is Fan Fiction. I do not own the rights to Insignia/Vortex by S.J Kincaid and my story is not a reflection upon her books. _

_Thanks for understanding!_

_This takes place right after Medusa has lost (around page 421 in Insignia)._

I thrust the wire out of the neural access port in the back of my neck and threw it down. How dare he do such a thing to me! How dare he. After everything he'd said, after we'd done- the Sims, the chats, even the kiss. Oh, I could just imagine the smirk on his face, his blue eyes glinting as he thought about me. And his disgust once he saw my ugly, mutilated face.

"Medusa, finally beaten," the man in the corner said in Mandarin. "And I heard that it was just a child, a young trainee."

I was no longer that little girl, that delicate orchid, crying for her mother that would never come. It had been lost to the monster named Medusa.

"Yeah, well I don't want to hear it," I snapped to him in English. "I've won for eight years on end. I've turned the war in our favor. It was just a small thing. It doesn't matter."

But as I turned my back on him to leave, I knew in my heart that it did matter to me. And I hated that it did.


	2. Chapter 2

I reported to the cafeteria at 0300 hours. We ate only once a day because once we had all the necessary nutrients, our processors could make it so we didn't feel hunger. It was less time consuming, just like everything else was made to be- scheduled slow-wave sleep periods, the smallest amount of recreation they were allowed to give us and no schooling outside tactics and whatever they claimed was necessary.

The Russians always complained about it all. But what did they expect? We were in the military. We were fighting a war.

Usually the other sponsored members treated me well enough- they would acknowledge my presence with a nod or small wave. But my defeat had extinguished any miniscule amount of friendliness they had even thought to offer.

I noticed this again when I sat down at one of the tables near the back and everyone within fifteen meters got up and moved. One of the annoying South American visitors began to speak, perhaps to ask why they were doing such, but was quickly silenced by a quick whisper from whoever was showing him around.

I pretended not to notice as they stared and spoke quietly about me. I spread my black hair over the scared tissue, something I did whenever I felt shy. I had been accepted on some level because I had always won; because, when it came down to it, everyone cared a whole lot more about winning than who was winning for them.

I finished shoving food into my mouth and stood. There was a planned strike on something in the asteroid belt. I had heard some of the others speaking about it, but I wasn't on it.

I would be patrolling some empty section of space doing nothing.

Because he had come along and ruined it all for me. I threw my dirty dishes into the washing bin and left.

I walked towards the room I was to report to, whispers following me the whole way.


	3. Chapter 3

I sent my drone to the Spire to keep an eye on him. I had taken it from a space battle years ago- it was Centurion-grade and immensely powerful with optical camouflage and missile turrets. I used it rarely- only when I was in desperate need of a powerful eye in the sky and didn't want to get caught as a ghost in the camera or program.

I watched him as he talked with his friends- some kids named Vikram Ashwan, Yuri Sysevich who was Russian, and some girl named Wyatt Enslow. There was also an older one named Heather Akron. I remembered her from the leak we had gotten- she was Enigma. I was still too afraid to look at Mordred's file. I had no idea what it might show and I was still too hurt to go digging.

But there were brief periods when he seemed to pause- to look out and almost wonder where I was and what he had done. Or maybe it was just my imagination.

I steered my drone back to the Forbidden City.

And promised myself that I would never go back and look at him like that.

It was too painful.


	4. Chapter 4

I was brushing my teeth when a message appeared in my visual center: _Report to General Li's office at 0250 hours. You will eat afterwards._

I sighed. He would probably beat me over the head with my loss, put me on probation, and then my career would be over.I would stay for only a small period, not nearly enough time for me to prove that was still advantageous, then would be sent back to my family. The family I no longer had.

Who would I go to? The only reason my mama could keep my little half-sister Hua. My baba had died long ago and mother had remarried a man who was Mandarin. Mama said he was kind, but he worked at a low-level job in Stronghold Energy and made not nearly enough for the five of us: I had a half-brother named Long who was their pride and joy.

My oldest full brother was twenty-five and ambitious: his name meant Great Fighting Bird. He had cut ties with my mama after she remarried but he still called upon me from time-to-time.

Head spinning with thoughts, I brushed my hair over my scars the best I could and chose the cleanest uniform in my closet. Before the loss, I had never had to wait for anything- the government wanted me to spend all my time winning and not having to do anything else. Now I had to draw sticks to get my clothes washed and clean my own room. I wouldn't be surprised if they moved me into another room or gave me a roommate.

I sighed. What horrors would this meeting bring?


	5. Chapter 5

I made it to his office right on time. The general welcomed me in and offered me a seat. I sat down nervously, smoothing the hair that partially hid the scar tissue.

"Now, Medusa. Your recent loss was extremely surprising. You have been our leader in this war for so long. I've tried my best to smooth things over but there are things that are a little… suspicious. Some people believe you to be a spy."

I was shocked when he said that. "General? A spy," I sputtered.

He nodded his confirmation. "There are other rumors, but they are thinking of questioning you. It will not be an easy battle getting back up to where you were before; I'm not sure it is even possible."

"Is there anything I can do general?"

"I will try my best to keep you out of harm's way. But be careful. Your sponsorship is the most delicate of all of them. The companies were begrudging when handing funds over for your ships before. You can imagine how they are now.

"I had to pull a few strings, but we have heard that there will be an attempted strike on the Reaches at 1754 hours. You are to report there at 1700 hours to try out the ships you will be using. Perform well, and your defeat will begin to be less important."

He dismissed me quickly. I was still dazed from what he had told me. I would get a second chance!

I remembered my manners just as I opened the door. "Thank you, suk-suk."

He smiled. "Good bye Yaolan."

"Tell Great Fighting Bird his little sister says néih hóu. Oh, and best wishes to your daughter Mo Li."

My father-in-law smiled. "They love each other very much."

I returned his smile shyly and ducked away, embarrassed by my earlier thoughts and thankful to have his support and influence by my side.


	6. Chapter 6

I had been playing with the three ships they had assigned me for thirty minutes and fifty-eight seconds when the others walked in, perfectly straight in two parallel lines. They glanced at me, shocked, and began to whisper furiously to each other. I could not hear their words as I was watching this from one of the many cameras positioned in the room to keep an eye on us while we worked. But someone barked orders at them and they scurried to the cots and plugged in, ready for anything.

We patrolled the area for a while. I kept jumping from satellite to sensor, working hard to make sure the Americans wouldn't take us by surprised.

And then- a movement. A small fleet was on the horizon, well-stocked and optically camouflaged. I imagined a grim smile playing upon my lips. I would beat them and serve them to Yan on a golden platter.

I was ready for this.

I sent a few well-placed missiles towards them and four ships exploded, sending huge pieces of their hulls into the other ships, taking six more out of commission and crippling twelve. Two ships remained unharmed.

"They have arrived," I sent the others and I watched them push forward to destroy the ships before they could get to our shipyard.

Four of the American ships broke apart from the group and went after my three. One was part of the number that had escaped the first set of hits. All four let out shots that I dodged easily, veering off the left so the shots they continued to rain hit one of their own ships and blew it up.

They responded by hurriedly stopped shooting, which was exactly what I wanted them to do. Sitting ducks, I snapped into one of the patrolling drones and had it unleash four missiles at point blank range. I couldn't believe the Americans hadn't noticed was there. Well, they'd be more careful next time.

Just then, the last undamaged ship darted by and was taken out by the metal remains of the ships I had just destroyed.

Done with the show, I made quick work of the last two, twisting and shooting them out easily.

I replayed the fight in my mind: I had taken out 17 of the 24. Not bad at all.

When the cord was pulled from the processor and we paraded out of the room, Red Terror (who refused to let anyone call him his real name because it meant Little Peaceful One) nodded to me. He had been the most kind of the combatants, but even so the motion filled me with warmth.

I would get my record back on track. My eight year streak had started somewhere, hadn't it?


	7. Chapter 7

"General Li," I said nodding to each as I said their name. "General Borowski, General Jiaoju, General Gangbao. I have reported here as requested."

"Yes, Medusa," the lieutenant said. "You have been accused as a spy. However, yesterday's actions were very… beneficial to your case. Those ships they sent were the best they had ready. The fact they showed up and you destroyed about 71% of the ships they sent is leading many who were once accusing to think again."

"I will be the first to state that I was very concerned with your actions and thought you a spy," General Jiaoju said, her small size making her no less intimidating than the six-foot Borowski. "But your actions have made me think otherwise. The people are nervous right now, even with our vast winnings. But you, Medusa… the thought that our star warrior might be on the other side? It makes people very apprehensive."

General Borowski said gruffly, "We are putting you on restricted privileges and you will be only used in important battles twice a week unless there is an emergency. But within the year- if we find no problems concerning your battles or loyalties- you should be back to your earlier placement."

"Your rightful place at the head of our combatants," the lieutenant whispered quietly.

I smiled and thanked each of them, trying to push deeper meaning into each one than the words would allow.

General Li was the last to leave. I bowed low to him, my silent thank-you.

It may not be perfect, but it would get better.


	8. Chapter 8

He'd been checking the message board every day for a while. I set it up to tell me whenever he tried. But I wouldn't reply yet.

Then I just did it. Maybe it was because of my recent win. I prepared the Renaissance English simulation, setting myself up as the older Queen Elizabeth and him to be the Earl of Essex. I typed the information out to show him the differences. I guess that's why I chose it. I wanted to show him how he was no longer someone I loved, and that he had betrayed and took advantage of me.

He hooked in and saw me, the aged Queen. The information was sent and I imagined his reaction when he read it. Did it make him fell a centimeter of the pain that I did?

"I need to talk to you," he told me.

"What could you possibly have to say to me?" My voice sounded cold and abrupt.

He changed from the Earl to a boy that must have been him before he had gotten his growth spurt. He was short, skinny, and weak. His face was covered in acne. He had bad posture, slouching forward so that he looked like an old man. That was a boy that I could feel okay around. He spread his arms as if to say, _look at my anti-magnificence!_

"This is me. Okay?"

"That's not you." I waved my hand to replace Elizabeth with the attractive boy I had seen through the cameras at the Beringer Club.

Mordred stared at me, or rather, himself. "When did you see me?"

I wasn't sure if I should tell him. But then I remembered that he knew my secret. "I peeked at the security cameras in the Beringer Club." Then I remembered the whole reason I was furious at him. "Yes, I'm a hypocrite. It doesn't change anything." I slumped back into my throne. "You can't do this. You can't pull a move like that, be cutthroat like that, and then come here and be nice."

"I just wanted to make it right."

There was no way he could make it right. Couldn't he see that? "Then let me hate you."

Mordred flinched. "You hate me now?"

Instead of answering, I raised a finger and made him look like his new self and morphed myself into what I really looked like. What black hair I had was in a braid, while my face, blotchy and terrible enough to have once made my little cousins cry, looked like someone had melted my lips and nose into it. Part of my hair still had to grow back and my scalp was scarred there. I now knew why I was now the monster- no one could imagine that beautiful child becoming this.

"Haven't you ever, you know, tried to get it fixed?"

My mind flashed to my surgeries. Then, one doctor telling someone- I'm not sure who- that I wasn't going to get much better. That I was always going to be a freak, no matter how much money I had or how many times I got "fixed". And how terrible it felt when I was healing and when I realized that it hadn't really made me the beauty I wanted desperately to be.

"Eight surgeries. Five skin grafts, two face transplants. After the neural graph, I was done. I'd had enough. It was fine until you came. Until you let me pretend I could be normal."

"I'm sorry," he said, like all the others who had asked.

I shrugged, and replied, "I can't blame you."

I was done. I moved to leave but his words stopped me.

"I had to win. I had to. They thought I was a traitor, so it was win or I was losing my neural processor and going to prison, okay? Come on! It's not like I could've asked you to lose for me!"

I turned to face him. I thought of everything he had done and the words escaped easily, quickly. "Maybe I would have."

I watched Mordred squirm, watch him force himself to disbelieve. "You wouldn't have."

I almost protested, but that wasn't the right thing. I told him, sadly, "I guess you'll never know now." A pause, and I took the chance for one last jab. "Just a word of warning, Mordred: next battle, I'm going to stomp you so hard that afterword, you'll make _me_ look pretty."

It was the best I could do, the best way I could say that I forgive you. No- I will forgive you, in time.

He grinned. "You'll try."

I smiled evilly back, and then shut the program down. I pulled the cord out and sat on the cot for a second, looking around at the others around me, who were, no doubt, actually patrolling space like I was supposed to be doing.

One day, I would meet him in combat again.

And that time, I would win.


	9. Note on Chinese Culture

I do not study Chinese culture and apologize for any mistakes that I have made in this. Please let me know what they are via PM or comment and I will fix them as soon as I can.

Thank you for your understanding!


	10. A Little Extra (about ME, not Medusa)

Whew. That was a lot of work. And I crammed it into something like four weeks. Gah! *dies*

Okay, I'm alive again.

That was my first fan fiction and now it is done! Done! D-O-N-E! You have no idea how happy that makes me! (Well, you do because you've been here before too, right? (please say yes, please say yes))

I tried my best to get it to be like the books as much as possible. But I know I took some creative freedom. But if you see any HUGE holes, PM me so I can change it. I am a story hole hater. Sorry in advance for those.

Anyway, I hope you liked it! I am so happy you got this far.

I'm not really sure what to do next, but I'll figure something out... (that stuffed-to-the-brim bookcase won't help me at ALL)

Thanks so much for reading it! *passes out cookies to those who read it*

Now I'm just rambling, so this is good-bye until next fan fiction!


End file.
